What is Wrong with me?

Ashton Kutcher is actually not unattractive.

(Suck it Orwell.)

I'm watching Killers at the moment.
(also watched No Strings Attached earlier. We'll get a movie trio later)

Edit 1:
Wait no, I lie. He is not attractive.
He's only kinda attractive sideways, and where a tablecloth is hiding half his face.

Edit 2:
Fake looking french alley/cafe is fake.
Oh look. Guess I'm doing running commentary on this.
edit 2.5 (from earlier): "I'm going to go marinate in shame now"

Edit 3:
"His physical, godlike perfection"--Heigl
I snorted chocolate up my nose. Not good.

Edit 4:
God, men shooting guns in movies are hot (so none o' ya'll bring up soldiers or real life situations where this fact does not hold true).
Augh! Ashton Kutcher! Stop flip flopping on being attractive!

Edit 5:
*in awed and appreciate voice*
"Oh Spence! You remodeled my office! It's so organized!"
Oh hell yeah, Heigl, way to be typecasted.
WHOO OCD
Mini edit 5.5: not the best color for the office, imho.

Edit 6:
"How did I get a guy like you"
"It was your charm--" *kisses one boob* "--and your wit." *Kisses other boob*
...well. Crap.

Edit 7:
Implied sex in the office with the window blinds not drawn. All kinds of uncomfotable and UNORGANIZED!

Edit 8:
Guys in suits/business casual=<3 I have said this before, and I'll say it again. Guys always look attractive in suits. Noooooo, must. Stop. Finding. Attractive. Aspects.

Edit 9: EW. NORTON PRODUCT PLACEMENT. Sad face.

Edit 10: All the materials needed to set up the misunderstanding of an affair. C'mon movie industry, hit me with it. Make me groan.

Edit 11:
Fake driving is fake.
NO SEATBELTS!
I doubt the verisimilitude of your driving scene, Lionsgate!

Edit 12:
Kutcher: "where are your pants?"
mini edit 12.5: yeah, ashton. Where are they?

Edit 13:
Keeeeeep going, movie industry, you've almost got me to groan. Reluctant Kiss, hurrying the spouse off, suspicious tones.

Edit 14:
Shakycam during fight scene is a no-no!
Ugh, you'll make the motion-sickness people and good filmmakers puke.
mini edit 14.5: CROTCH GRAB!

Edit 15:
Man, I love heigl.
P.S. loud fight music during dialogue is also a no-no.
Especially when the music is so......igh.

Edit 16:
Heigl. You make amazing faces. Never stop acting in comedies.

Edit 17:
Counting the rounds on his 'Glock 45' which, according to wiki, doesn't seem to exist.
2 so far.
...okay, that's 7. I can doubt the verisimilitude of your movie a little less now.

Edit 18:
AUGH! STOP LEAVING YOUR FINGERPRINTS ALL OVER THE GODDAMN ROOM! YOU SO FORGOT YOUR TRAINING.

SPOILER ALERT

Edit 19:
Pregnant, really?
Really?!

Edit 20:
..Touching music. Tacky.

Edit 21:
Knockin' guns. SO COOL

SPOILER ALERT

Edit 22:
WHOA. That is one HARDCORE dad. Put sleepers in your daughters neighborhood?
Wait? The armsdealer wasn't that smug looking dude? What?

SPOILER ALERT

Edit 23:
Baby solves everything...
ALL that action, all those people dead, for nothing? What?
Esplain! Trust circle needed indeed!

Edit 24:
Terribly unsatisfying ending...
Eugh. Okay, you have totally ruined any attraction you have garnered for yourself Ashton! You+baby mustache=EUGH.

--[end of running commentary]--