OMG Shoes!

Prom looms like an upcoming menstrual cycle, so I've decided to tackle my shoes. I took them out from the closet and put them on, tottering around the bathroom (the rest of the house creaks too much) for a bit. I've since sat down and started blogging--shoes on of course....and half an hour in, my toes and the balls of my foot have numbed. Yeah. >_<
I always feel like a fraud, wearing heels, because there's this irrational voice that tells me I still haven't grown up enough to wear them. Dunno, I am pretty childish, and disappointing in the tit department, but well, my cells prove I'm not five. So...why?
My inner psychologist says this repression and denial of being able to wear them and not feel foolish comes from being discouraged from such frivolous shoes at a young age--being indirectly told they are for adults and that I'm not one yet. Dunno. My mother did successfully keep me from her heels for most of my life and has always bought be sensible shoes in black.
My inner nerd says that I don't wear ornamental shoes because they're not practical, and I'm a dork. I'm not allowed. Dunno. I like what she's saying. Self-elitism. Like how I won't wear bright colors etc.
Mostly, I think it's because I judge what I wear based on what my mother would say. Yeah no, it's not that she's a domineering, controlling figure. It's just...she's done this when I was younger, and doesn't mince her words when I try to dress myself. I think I end up afraid of what she's gonna say. It's, well, it's the classic let-parents-approve mindset. Especially coming from my background.
So college...She won't see what I wear. It's both a relief and a worry. I mean, I wouldn't hear if she didn't approve, but I'd most likely construct a mental Mommy to tell me whatever ensemble I have on is hideous.

Maybe I just have an inferiority complex. Meh.

Okay, okay, enough of being a girl. Back to nonsense.